


If We Only Need to Be

by keelover



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Dancing, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Season 7 Spoilers, musings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-19
Updated: 2012-07-19
Packaged: 2017-11-10 06:48:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/463403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keelover/pseuds/keelover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek saves his last dance of the evening for Spencer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If We Only Need to Be

Spencer smiled, a soft smile kept mostly to himself. An almost bittersweet feeling filled him, he knew things were changing; all around him, everything was shifting into something almost unrecognizable. A faint shadow here and there, but he smiled nonetheless because weddings were happy occasions, and Spencer was happy. A figure came from his left, hand extended, a charm to dark eyes that sparkled even in the dimmed lighting. Spencer took the hand offered, smile loosening to a bemused grin.

“You've danced with almost everyone else, and now it's my turn?” he asked, Derek's hand sliding down to about mid waist. “Left overs, Derek?”

Derek smirked, smug in his answer even before he opened his mouth to speak. “The last dance is the most important,” he said, guiding Spencer in a half circle, timing in line with the music that still played. Whether anyone noticed was unimportant; Spencer desired clarity, a moment of absoluteness to collect what was authentic in his life.

“And why is that?” Spencer asked, fingers pressing firm against Derek's back. Spencer wasn't a marvelous dancer, sub par at best, but Derek made him exceptional, each move guiding him. 

“Because I'm so tired I can just cling to you. We can move around, feet shuffling with no real destination, and get lost and lazy,” he said, their foreheads touching as time seemed to slow down, and all for them. 

“You remember that case in Texas? The train, Theodore Byar?”

“Yeah, Spence, I remember. Why?” Derek asked, head held back to study Spencer's features. Spencer wanted to kiss the worry away in that moment, but resisted. 

“It feels so long ago.”

“It was long ago, Spence.”

“I know. I just remember, and with my memory, it's in depth. The look on your face—you thought I was going to die—and Elle's handling of the situation. I just, I just think...where are they?”

“Spence...”

“I know. I shouldn't do this to myself, but I wonder. And Emily, Derek, we know she's not staying. I feel like we're falling apart all over again. Losing our team.”

“Change is our only constant in life, Spence,” Derek said, taking one of Spencer's hands in his own, kissing the restless, pale knuckles. The lights were soft, Rossi off in the distance with a glass of scotch, talking of his many adventures with Kevin. The dance floor was empty save them, Emily off to their right, talking intimately with JJ. If there was anyone she would miss the most without being unfair, it would be her.

Jack and Henry played late into the night, making up games every few minutes to keep themselves entertained. Aaron and Beth shared a slice of cake, a soft look upon their faces, serene almost. A slow build up. Garcia sat beside Will, attempting to help him with his phone, going over the pictures she took of the low-key occasion. It was nice, like catching your breath once you resurfaced from the deep, crushing water that filled your lungs 'til they threatened to burst. 

“I don't want to lose you,” he said, whispering into Derek's ear as though it were a secret to be kept between them. “I don't want to lose _us_.”

“Spence...”

“We've changed so much since then. You teased me, roughed me up every now and then, but I knew it wasn't because you disliked me. That day, when you put that vest on me, when you were worried about me coming back, I knew you cared. We've all been through so much as a team. When does it stop?”

“When we're ready.”

“And what happens if we're not ready at the same time?” Spencer asked, causing Derek to pull away.

“Spence...”

“I'm not, I'm not trying to push you away. It's just, this has me thinking. My mind...”

“Spencer, your mind is just fine. You're still as much of a genius as the day I met you, but you're also a lot more human. What you've been through, what you had to endure, it's given you a perspective not many people in our profession have. Separation isn't possible, but that makes you better. I don't want you to be afraid, Spence,” Derek said, pressing Spencer to his body, holding him in a way they couldn't often do in public. This was different. This was home, and this was their family. A case far from fruition in that moment. “And I swear to all that I hold near and dear to me, that if it ever happens Spencer, if it ever happens, I won't leave you.” 

Spencer remained silent, content to rock side-to-side with the other man, Derek's cologne lingering amongst the flesh of his cheek. Spencer removed himself from Derek's shoulder, peering into his eyes as they came to a standstill; time fading away. Derek's skin was flushed as Spencer slid his fingers over the base of his neck, smile returned to him. “We've lost a lot, but we've gained a lot, too. A team, a second family. I, uh, also got you,” he said, watching as a genuine smile blossomed across Derek's face. A gentle kiss pressed to the corner of his mouth.

“And I've got my very own genius.”


End file.
